Intro To Mountain Water for Dumbasses

Back on the mountain and today’s lessons is why you need to check the cistern  often so you don’t run out of water.

Here goes.

A cistern is basically a tank that’s in a hole in the ground. The tank needs to be filled so you can do things like flush the toilet, wash dishes, and shower so you don’t smell like a pig. The way to fill the cistern is to hook up your trailer that has a big plastic tub inside of it to your truck, drive to a water filling station, put some money in a little slot, attach your hose to the water spout, fill your tank, drive back up the mountain and re-attach your hose to the tank in the ground. Or, if you are really smart, and don’t forget to call the water hauler, you just have them do all this crap for $85.

So we ran out of water this past weekend and we had to use our poor little two-wheel drive truck, looking for a Jeep by the way, to haul water.  This took a long time because: A-Only a dumbass has a two-wheel drive truck here: B-We have the steepest driveway in this area:  C-We are double dumbasses for forgetting to check the water before the non-delivery weekend and D-There were other people who needed help filling water carriers and we may be dumbasses but we are very nice dumbasses.

Today we had the cistern cleaned because the man who lived her before us was a little piggie and he never cleaned the tank. This is why our hair smells funny, it breaks off in the wind, and why our skin soaks up lotion as if its part of the barren desert. Yes, the woman cleaning the tank is also filling it with water.

So now we can flush the toilets, wash out the coffee cups, shower and go out in public again. Not that we want to leave the mountain where the wind blows cool air down from the tippie tops, deer prance on the hills, and never is heard a discouraging word…unless we run out of water!