One of the many, many, many things I love about life is that there is an endless stream of inner and outer experiences that make me know myself a little bit better every single day. And just when I think I know who I am, well mostly know who I am, something happens that makes me rush to the mirror in wonderment.
Just the other day for example I learned that I am terrified when a hungry deer discovers I am carrying a bag of bird seed and then begins stalking me. I have also been stalked by a few humans, both men and women, and I found the deer a lot more entertaining and easy to scare off. The big lessons in a life seem to be internal and those emotional journeys can sometimes be a revelation of gut wrenching truth that can make me grow several inches in one quick moment.
When I had my second child, who turns 30 tomorrow (Now there’s an internal journey to make me fall right to the floor!), I was 36 and considered of “Advanced Maternal Age” but somehow managed to pop out one hell of a beautiful girl turned woman. Now I am a boomer senior who gets noticed by toothless men at the beer bar (Where I live now there are only beer bars.) Santa Claus look-alike snow plowers, the entire world when I let out a bigass Kris laugh, and shocked and dazed people who put off some kind of “I need you” energy that makes me want to embrace them and say something nice.
But, like tons of women my age, 66 in case you went to Catholic schools like I did and the nuns told you that you were stupid and thus remain math challenged, I am beyond thrilled to be this old, to be alive and laughing, to still be learning who I am and to be speeding up and not slowing down.
I’m not a big new year’s resolution kinda broad, and holy crap do I LOVE being a broad, because I try very hard to greet every day with an open heart, ready to grow, change, experience, and keep my heart and mind open. And before you ask, some days can be a bit on the shitty side, but that’s part of the deal too. There’s a lot to be learned when you are wallowing in those interesting smells.
Look, if I can do it, so can you. I’m just an aging broad who doesn’t want to miss out on anything. I’m a woman who is constantly searching for new ways to explore the heart of the world while my knees hurt, my sinuses are screwed up, my joints ache, a weird ailment makes my face twitch and my neck feel as if someone is stabbing me, and my damn foot is driving me crazy.
Don’t be afraid. Try it. Go there. Keep your heart open and I’ll meet you at the edge of the pier, totally naked–so prepare yourself, and we are going to dive in head first!!!!!
